


Night Song

by Roo_Bastmoon



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Angst, First Time, M/M, POV First Person, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 06:54:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/923289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roo_Bastmoon/pseuds/Roo_Bastmoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaworu shows Shinji his destiny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Night Song

"Kaworu!" My name splinters into the darkness.

I remove my lips from his pale throat. 

"Do you like this, Shinji? Does it feel good?” I whisper across the shell of his ear, sliding my hand down his frail frame to cup the heat between his legs. I am gentle at first. I tease him.

His pupils are huge; his eyes are black. 

I flatten my hand, providing enough fiction to get him panting. 

“Hm . . . Kaworu . . . yes . . .”

He bucks his hips and I smile harshly. His briefs are sticky with precome; I shape the wetness there. 

I mount him, pushing him down with my full weight. He fists the sheets as I flush against him. You're mine, Shinji.

"Kaworu?"

"Yes?"

He turns around and stares at me, eyes searching, as always, for answers to questions he can't put into words.“I . . .”

I know. I know, Shinji. 

I kiss him hard, just short of violence; I want to bruise him. I wish human fears were physical things that I could kill with my two hands. 

He lets me kiss him. I lick his tongue, map his mouth, steal his breath. It’s still not enough. Human bodies are so fragile. It’s amazing they’ve made it this far, considering how brutal the universe is.

I circle my pelvis, pulsing against him. He gasps, his breath hot on my face. I roll my hips, humping him.

"Kaworu!"

I know. 

He’s almost as pale as I am, but not quite. He grinds against me, hands squeezing my ass, pressing me down. So sincere. My brave Shinji. My believer. You must have known I was born to meet you?

"Kaworu? Take this off?"

He clutches my red shirt, shyly tugging it upwards. I give him a slow, seductive smile, brushing my fingers over the back of his cold hands as we pull it off together. I let the shirt fall to the floor. 

I flatten his hands against me, forcing them to slide down my chest and abdomen. He looks fascinated, his deep brown eyes going wide. I wriggle out of my boxers and kick them somewhere across the tiny bedroom.

I moan when he finally works up the courage to touch me there. I rock the back of my thighs and ass over lap. He grips my hips, pushing himself off the futon, jabbing his arousal at me.

I kiss his forehead. He tangles his fingers into my hair. His lips brush mine. 

“You’re . . . you’re really beautiful, Kaworu,” he whispers. 

Don’t tell me that. You mustn’t go that far. Don’t look at me with eyes sad like stars. Don’t make me wish for more than just this night. Don’t make me kill you.

"Kaworu, please!"

"Please what, Shinji-kun . . . ?" I murmur. He’s blushing, his cheeks and the bridge of his nose turn red. 

You are as transparent as glass. You’re going to break. I don’t want to love you, but I can’t help it. Humans are weak. Angels are unforgiving. I must try to find the balance somewhere in between. 

"Make love to me?" he asks in a tiny voice.

I close my eyes, defeated. "Yes," I whisper, leaning down to kiss him again. 

He meets me half way. I let him taste me. As he begins to lick the corners of my mouth, I groan. I snake my right hand into his briefs, making a snug tunnel with my fist. I stroke him gently.

"Uhn!" 

"Yes," I whisper again. I push his underwear down over his thighs and tease the pads of my fingers over his shaft. "Shinji? Is it good?"

“Uh-huh.”

I lick a wet trail down his chin, his chest, his stomach. He smells so good. I suck him off, massaging his balls; his hands yank at my hair and he wriggles deliciously. 

His thin legs wrap around my neck. I push his thighs up, sucking on his balls, bending him in half, licking his ass. He squirms, shy.

"Shinji." I sigh. "You asked me to make love to you. Let me?"

His hands relax but he still holds his breath. I draw his forefinger into my mouth, getting it wet. He pushes his middle finger past my lips. I take three and when they are slick with saliva, I slowly withdraw, letting the pads of his fingers scrape against my teeth. 

He shivers. I kiss his cheek and take the moist fingers in my hand, bringing them down to his asshole. I make him stretch himself. 

“Oh!” he gasps.

I brush my nose over his cheek. 

When he’s loose enough, I thrust into him, pushing off from the balls of my feet. I stare at him—it hurts and he can’t hide it. He rakes his nails down my back and wails. I don’t stop, though. 

I stroke in and out of his heat, kissing the edge of his mouth. He moans, his flagging erection getting hard again, once the pain melts into pleasure.

I am your destiny.

“More, please. More!"

Smiling to myself, I shift my weight onto my arms so that I can look down at my cock as it disappears into him. He hisses. 

“Shinji . . . Shinji." The futon gets bunched up around us; this NERV room is very small and the walls will do nothing to dampen all the noise. I don’t care. I pull out, turn him over, draw him up on all fours, and softly say, “Ready?”

He nods. It’s all I need. I slam back in, reaching around to tease his nipples, rake my nails down his belly, stroke his cock . . .

"Kaworu! Kaworu!"

Yes. Call my name. Scream my name to your God, Shinji. See if God screams it back. Damn you. I didn’t want to love you. You’re always running from responsibility. Never using your voice, your power. Afraid to die; afraid to live. Unwilling to fight. Unable to believe you were born to save the world. I hate you. I love you.

"Kaworu! Ka—"

He comes in my hand, spilling over my fingers and on those twisted sheets. Something pulls in me like a string, and I come inside him almost before he finishes. I tumble us to the floor without a sound. 

He’s panting; I can feel his heartbeat hammering through his ribcage; he’s pulsing all around me. I don’t want to move. He’s fragile like glass and it cuts me up. I’ll never be the same.

I pull out. He just lies there, his face buried in the pillow. I grab him, holding him close. "Did I hurt you?"

“It doesn’t matter,” he whispers. 

I lick my hand clean. I don’t have the energy to clean him up just yet, but he’s not complaining. He takes up my hand, turning it over, and kisses the inside of my wrist. 

Yes, I will die for you.

I have to go soon. It’s almost time. We will meet on the battlefield in a few short hours, though he doesn’t know it yet. 

Touching our foreheads together, I sigh. Just one tear, that’s all I can cry. I can at least give him that. 

Shinji kisses my cheek. He strokes my hair, humming softly, a strange lullaby. I recognize the song—Symphony Number Nine, Ode to Joy, Beethoven. 

When he wakes, this will all be a dream. If he fails, the dream will die with him. 

Come kill me, Shinji.


End file.
